22 June, 2017

last minute airport shopping

About a week and a half ago I went a little trip to my dad's for a quick visit. I stay in Glasgow and he lives in England near London, so I don't get to see him very often, if at all really. The visit was kind of a disaster, but I did manage to have a good nosey through the duty free before the flight on the way home. Nothing like a bit of retail therapy after spending time with family to cheer you up. Plus, the airport was insanely busy and I was bored just waiting around.

I didn't go wild as I'm trying to put a bit of money aside for savings. I bought two books and two beauty bits. The first book I bought was Get Your Sh*t together by Sarah Knight. I've read her other book so many times, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k, which is a very good and lighthearted read about how to control exactly how much fucks you can give to a certain situation before you need to pull away from it. This time it's about organising your life and essentially getting your shit together to get exactly what you need to get done and doing it now.

The second book I bought was Find Calm by Anna Barnes. It's basically a little book full of meaningful quotes, tips and tricks to remain calm whilst under pressure of stress. I haven't finished this one, I've been picking it up here or there and reading a few passages but I think that's sometimes the way these books are meant to be read, in small chunks at a time.

As usual, I ended up wandering around all the beauty bits and found the Origins counter. I had used a sample of the charcoal mask before and remembered loving it so decided to buy a full size one. I've only used it once and so far I can't tell if it's working. I've came out in a lot of spots and blemishes but I don't know if that's because it's bringing out any imperfections to the skins surface? I'm also drinking a lot more water now so again that might be affecting it slightly. Who knows, I'll keep going with it anyway.

I also bought another Molton Brown hand cream as I absolutely adore them! I usually get the rhubarb and rose one but I couldn't find it there so bought the pink pepperpod instead which also smells so good. A little goes a long way with these little tubes as well, one will generally last me about 4-6 weeks before I need another.

I love duty free, I'm already looking into flights again soon, so maybe there will be some more buys shortly. There's also something I love about flying, it's just so peaceful and serene. I always get a window seat so I can stare out the window to the clouds and watch the ground disappear below me and I very rarely get out my seat once my seatbelt is on anyway. Hopefully next time I fly it won't be met with disastrous family get-togethers.

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19 June, 2017

I'm 26 and I don't know what I'm doing

On Sunday I turned 26. The weekend before I had a full breakdown on my couch about my life, specifically, my professional life, or lack thereof.

I never thought with all my plans as a child and a teenager that I'd be sat on my couch crying my eyes out worrying that I'm working in a dead end job, with no career prospects and no foot in the door as to what I want to do with my life. I mean, aren't you supposed to decide that in high school? Primary school, even? I wanted to be vet until I came to the conclusion that I couldn't put an animal to sleep or else I'd spend the rest of my life constantly heartbroken. I then decided I wanted to be a singer and my dad put a stop to that. I wanted to be an artist after that but again, "there's no money in art", according to my dad.

So I spent the last few years of my teenage life studying a subject I had little to no interest in before deciding that maybe it wasn't for me and strolled into a full time job. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed living a lifestyle of never really wanting anything, because I could go out and buy it. Between my income and Craig's we've been living a pretty comfortable life the last few years.

But it's not enough any more. I literally wake up every morning and think about quitting over and over again because I don't want to be there. The thought of spending eight hours a day being yelled at down the phone genuinely makes me feel so anxious to the point where I consider just not turning up. Then something happened, an almost snap decision. It started with my manager essentially saying that to get to where he is now he had to take a cut in pay. He went from being paid more as a simple customer service assistant to manager and getting paid less. I don't even know how that works, but it's not where I want to be put it that way.

I'm playing with the idea of going back into studying full time, in something that I'm actually interested in. I haven't applied for anything yet, but the thought of going back to study genuinely excites me. If I'm going to be paid a minimum wage job, I'd rather it be in something I love. If I was happy in my work, I wouldn't care as much about working long hours or travelling a lot or even getting paid buttons. I'd know that I'm spending the majority of my day doing something I care about.

I know loving your job is luxury these days and I shouldn't be so picky given that so many people don't have a full time job, but it's a luxury I'm going to try and find. If I don't, at least I tried.

Thanks to all these thoughts, I was kind of bummed out on my birthday, especially after I told my mum I was considering going back to study. Luckily I have Craig and he made everything ten times better. He's actually one of the reasons I'm thinking about doing this, he almost earns double what I do, and I don't want him being the primary breadwinner any more, I'd like things to be fairer and even. Right now, we don't split the bills evenly, he pays for two thirds of rent, council tax etc. Mainly because if we'd to half it down the middle I'd have almost nothing left. So yeah, I'm doing it kind of for him too.

Anywhoozle, I'm off to go and enjoy the rest of my evening. I've got a new episode of Attack on Titan to watch - hopefully this time something exciting will actually happen. (stupid anime is dragging everything out now!)

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17 June, 2017

Do I use my phone too much?

"You're always on your phone.." - yeah, I am.

That's a sentence I hear maybe every other day or so. I'm always on my phone, either scrolling through Twitter and Instagram, reading blogs or maybe just browsing on Etsy for something cute to buy. But yeah, the point is, when I'm sitting about, my phone is usually in my hand or sitting next to me.

I pay £50 for my contract, of course I'm going to use it constantly - mainly to validate spending so much damn money on it each month.

So when it comes to phones, why are we constantly stuck in a position where we look down at a tiny screen rather than looking at the world around us? I'll tell you why, cause the world around us sucks. Most of the time.

Online you can cultivate your own little world full of people you want to talk to, things you want to see and read and generally keep your eyes fixed on things you're interested in. I can browse cute photos of animals to cheer myself up, I can look at newer and better ways to meal plan as I'm currently so bad at it, I can check my bank balance and cry at the lack of money I should have after spending so much on Etsy, I can look on pinterest for new ways to decorate my journal or some craft ideas. You get the picture.

I wouldn't say it's necessarily a bad things to be on your phone a lot of the time. I mean, I don't sit on my phone if I'm out and about with family or friends, but when I'm just sitting about or relaxing, I'm probably going to spend half an hour browsing through memes. Which, in my opinion, is always a good idea.

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